David Lynch’s Mulholland Drive 2

Mulholland Drive 2

Nick is invited into David Lynch’s office.

David Lynch introduces himself to Nick.

David Lynch wants to offer Nick a role. Nick asks what the movie is.

David Lynch tells Nick about his new movie, Mulholland Drive 2.

David Lynch explains the role.

Nick says, Excuse Me?

David Lynch explains: it’s comic relief, but there’s potential for dramatic meat as well.

David Lynch explains the Kaiju

David Lynch explains his film.

Nick says, I don’t Understand

Parallel to the story of the original film, in the same fictional universe, a portal called “the Breach” has opened up at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean, through which giant monsters called kaiju enter our dimension and attack major population centers. In order to combat them, humanity creates giant mech-robots, piloted by psychic effort. In Mulholland Drive 2, I want to tell that story.

That sounds exactly like Pacific Rim.

Pacific Rim already came out.

A finger touching a keyboard

The wikipedia page for Pacific Rim

David Lynch says: DEL TORO! That fat fuck stole my idea!

Lynch explains how Del Toro stole his idea

Lynch offers Nick a job killing Guillermo del Toro

Nick: I’ve got a baaaaaad feeling about this!

TO BE CONTINUED?!


Mulholland Drive 2: The Script

Mulholland Drive 2

DAVID LYNCH sits in his office, looking over some notes. A phone next to him buzzes.

ASSISTANT (on phone)

Mr. Lynch? Nick Grunerud is here to see you.

DAVID LYNCH

Thank you, Elvisina, please send him in.

NICK enters.

NICK

Mr. Lynch, thank you so much for seeing me, this is crazy.

DAVID LYNCH

Please, Mr. Lynch was my father. Call me David Lynch. Take a seat.

They both sit.

DAVID LYNCH

Now, Nick, do you know why I invited you to see me?

NICK

No, I don’t.

DAVID LYNCH

Well, you see, I’m working on a new movie, and there’s a part I think you’d be perfect for.

NICK

Oh my God, that’s amazing! I can’t believe it! What’s the movie?

DAVID LYNCH

Are you familiar with my film, Mulholland Drive?

NICK

Of course.

DAVID LYNCH

Well, I’m making a sequel. It’s called Mulholland Drive 2.

NICK

Mulholland Drive 2?

DAVID LYNCH

Precisely. Now, in the interest of full disclosure, I want you to know that the part I have in mind for you was originally written for Kyle MacLachlan, but he turned it down.

NICK

Why?

DAVID LYNCH

A conflict with another project. He said he’s going to be busy doing something called “ayahuasca.” He mentioned Amazon so I assume it’s some kind of web series. In any case it’s none of my business. Are you interested in the part?

NICK

Of course, what is it?

DAVID LYNCH

You would play the part of Dr. Burt Gessler, a scientist whose expertise in the kaiju — that’s a race of giant monsters who enter our dimension from a portal at the bottom of the ocean — his expertise allows humanity to form a strategy to defeat the kaiju and their threat once and for all.

NICK

Excuse me?

DAVID LYNCH

It’s a bit of comic relief, but I think there’s some real dramatic potential for the character as well.

NICK

A race of giant monsters?

DAVID LYNCH

The kaiju they’re called, yes, that’s correct. Your character, Dr. Gessler, is an expert on them. A bit nutty, but he wants what’s best for humanity.

NICK

And this is a sequel to Mulholland Drive?

DAVID LYNCH

Yes. See, the original film is a sort of hallucinatory fever dream, most of which takes places in the warped perspective of the main character. What you don’t see is what’s happening in the real world, outside of her perception.

NICK

I don’t understand.

DAVID LYNCH

Parallel to the story of the original film, in the same fictional universe, a portal called “the Breach” has opened up at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean, through which giant monsters called kaiju enter our dimension and attack major population centers. In order to combat them, humanity creates giant mech-robots, piloted by psychic effort.  In Mulholland Drive 2, I want to tell that story.

NICK

That sounds exactly like Pacific Rim.

DAVID LYNCH

What is Pacific Rim?

NICK

It’s a movie.

DAVID LYNCH

No, no the movie you’re thinking of is Mulholland Drive 2, and it doesn’t exist yet. That’s why you’re here, because I want to make that movie.

NICK

No, Pacific Rim already came out. Your idea is the exact same.

DAVID LYNCH

It couldn’t possibly be. That’s outrageous.

NICK

No, look.

Nick removes a crumpled piece of paper from his pocket, unfolds it, flattens it out on the table, and slides it across to David Lynch. It’s a computer printout of the Wikipedia page for Pacific Rim. David Lynch reads it.

DAVID LYNCH

Del Toro! That fat fuck stole my idea!

NICK

He stole your idea?

DAVID LYNCH

Yes. Guillermo del Toro. I told him my idea for Mulholland Drive 2 eight years ago. He must have stolen my idea and tweaked it just enough that he could claim credit. Nick, I’m sorry, but the movie is cancelled.

NICK

Fuck!

DAVID LYNCH

Hold on — I don’t have a movie role for you, but I might still be able to offer you a job.

NICK

What is it?

DAVID LYNCH

How would you feel about murdering Guillermo del Toro for me? For stealing my movie.

Nick looks directly into the camera and audibly gulps.

NICK

I’ve got a baaaad feeling about this!

END


Credits

  • Starring Nick Grunerud and David Lynch
  • Story by Nick Grunerud
  • Script by Peter Cunningham
  • Art by Peter Cunningham
  • Stock photos courtesy of Amtec and Aaron via Flickr and Wikimedia’s Creative Commons

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